Survivor Story #4: The Lioness

Anonymous            |      23 May 2023       |     WWYW Survivor Stories  

Very few are aware of the abuse and violence I have experienced, very few know
of my fears. For many years appearing vulnerable and risk being abused again
constantly haunted me. This is the story of a disabled woman.

As a child my home was rarely a safe place, rarely a place of solace from the
discriminative and non-tolerant world in which we lived. An innocent child
immersed in a world of fear and confusion.

From an early age I had become accustomed to strangers placing their hands on
me; from doctors, physiotherapists, to religious bystanders professing to have
healing hands, all without permission, all without want.

Almost 18 and with much naivety I met someone, we began to date. We dated
for approximately a year before the dynamics of our relationship changed, and
just months prior to turning 19 the relationship ended. I remember the night it
ended. His words still echo today, “No one will ever want you”.

Soon after I moved into a tiny unit. Moving out of home was extremely exciting.
Soon after I was sexually assaulted. After a night out with friends I was followed
home by my ex. Unable to run, unable to physically stop what was happening I
froze.

After the sexual assault it seemed everywhere I went he was there, there was no
escaping him. Weeks later, distracted for just a moment,  he swooped me up in his arms,

carrying me away he threatened that he could ‘End it all’.

Begging for my life I was able to convince him that, “I would do whatever he wanted’.

Trapped now at home the realisation of the depth of my nightmare was about to
unfold. I was pregnant. At no time was I offered counselling, emotional support,
or legal support by those that I came into contact through the services I
accessed. At no time was it expressed to me that me being sexually assaulted
should not have happened. That it was not my fault.

Today as a survivor I volunteer my time to end violence. A widespread existence
of ignorance and apathy within our communities cultivates an accepted level of
tolerance of violence towards people with disability. Violence that is often
hidden, minimised or ignored. My fear now drives me to make noise