Survivor Story #3: That Look

“Abigail” | 21 May 2023 | WWYW Survivor Stories

As they walk through the door, just one look in their eyes,
Tells me, “Yes, it’s going to be one of those nights”
The knot in my tummy starts heaving and weaving its way
Through my system.
The runaway train in action.
Who knows if or when it will stop?
It runs out of steam and eventually grinds to a halt,
And I am left in the wake of that smoky bitter encounter.
“Will this ever end?” I ask myself in the dark. “No”, I reply
As my companion Despair wraps his arms around me,
And together we wait for the dawn.
What a snapshot.
Then one day, I snapped, and shot them a glance which said,
“No more. You can’t make me do that anymore.
You can’t make me squirm and disappear with the elves
Ever again.
I’m here. I’m present. I’m strong, and I choose my own nights,
My own encounters, my own mode of transport, to where I
Choose to go…I think.”
Another time, another place, another look, or should I say,
“gaze?”
Beckoning me to a place of safety with no tricks, no trains, no
knots.
Who ever imagined a true definition of, “Love”, the unfailing kind
that never leaves?
One look into those eyes, and I am guided on a journey of healing,
And wholeness, boldness and more than a snapshot of who I
Really am.
What a sweet adventure, even on shady days.
“Will it ever end?” I ask in the light. “No” I hear back.
And I am wrapped in warm silk, and comforted for life.
Now I sit and I smile with my companion..Insight.

The original publication of this poem can be accessed here:

Abigail, ‘That look’, Into the light, (2021) <https://www.intothelight.org.uk/poems-and-art/>