Survivor Story #7: The Fire

Anonymous | 31 July  2023 | WWYW Survivor Stories

I’m not one to be violent,

If anything, I would describe myself as a bit soft.

However, there was a time in my life not long ago,

When, a certain anger took hold of me.

It was a bright day in Autumn,

We walk along the beach,

A sadness fills her eyes,

She says she was hurt not long ago.

A man she called a friend,

A man she trusted,

Forced himself upon her,

And made her weep.

I say, “It’s alright”,

I say, “I understand”,

But in that moment I don’t,

Not yet anyway.

As the days roll on,

A fire begins inside.

A pain I never knew I had,

Begins to rise.

As the days turn into weeks,

And the weeks turn into days,

The fire burns ever brighter,

And soon it starts to rage.

I  would visualise his face,

And I would imagine myself,

Beating him to a pulp,

With bloody hands.

Soon it became all I thought about,

That moment of sweet vengeance,

Making him the feel the pain,

He had inflicted upon her.

I tell her how I feel,

About the fire within,

She looks on blankly,

And begins to weep.

“Speak out” I tell her,

“Tell the world about his sins,

Bring him to justice,

And feel content within.”

“We are still friends” she says,

As tears fill her eyes,

“And anyway” she says.

“I don’t want to ruin his life.”

Why is she still friends with him?

I think to myself constantly,

How, can she still like someone,

Who has caused her so much pain?

These thoughts seep into my brain,

And like acid, began to erode me.

I become hollow,

Eaten from the inside out.

In Winter we were on the rocks,

And by the time Spring arrives,

We have separated,

And have taken our own paths.

In the months that follow,

The fire continues,

I still visualise his face,

And the fury of my fists.

However, I am still hollow.

And eaten from the inside.

He didn’t just hurt her that day,

He also took a part of me.

It’s summer now,

I am walking to my class,

I see a face I recognise,

But it is not her.

It’s the face of my nightmares,

The face I have come to hate.

He is walking by himself,

To where? I do not know.

For a moment,

I think of fulfilling my dread,

Of unleashing my rage,

And making him feel the pain he caused.

But as I get closer to him,

All I see are the tears on her face,

And all the deep pain,

My desire for vengeance caused her.

I can’t make this about myself,

I realise at that instant,

As I walk past him,

And leave his face behind me.